Indiana Jones denied tenure!

Far more times than I would care to mention, the name "Indiana Jones" (the adopted title Dr. Jones insists on being called) has appeared in governmental reports linking him to the Nazi Party, black-market antiquities dealers, underground cults, human sacrifice, Indian child slave labor, and the Chinese mafia.

BACK FROM
YET ANOTHER
GLOBETROTTING
ADVENTURE, INDIANA
JONES CHECKS HIS MAIL
AND DISCOVERS THAT HIS
BID FOR TENURE HAS
BEEN DENIED.

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